It’s a given that going through a divorce creates havoc in your personal life. But does it have to creep into your life at work also?
It’s hard enough to separate work from the rest of life. And when you go through a divorce, it’s even harder. You may need to talk with your attorney during the day. Or you may just need to vent to a friend on the phone.
Depending on your position at work and your industry, it may be wise not to disclose details of your divorce to work colleagues. That means taking phone calls away from where nosy colleagues may overhear your conversation.
When I was going through my divorce, many work colleagues didn’t know. And clients definitely did not know – the focus was on them not my personal life.
It’s not creating a façade or not being authentic; it’s being smart about staying professional. It was difficult for me to talk about my divorce so I focused on work.
Everyone is different. And every divorce is unique. You’ll need to figure out what works for you.
To help you maintain your professionalism as you deal with your divorce, here are some suggestions:
1- Look at and respond to personal emails or texts when you’re away from work. It may be difficult to carry out this suggestion if you have minor children. You’ll need to discipline yourself to only respond to messages from your minor children and leave other messages for when you return home.
2- Answer personal phone calls when you’re away from work. The exception again is if you have minor children.
3- Find a support group in the community to help you through your emotions to avoid venting at work.
4- Hire a professional to help you sort through your concerns about your divorce. Your attorney charges per hour and may not be a good choice for this type of support. Research therapists and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® in your community to hire.
5- Take advantage of your firm’s personal day policy or work from home option. If you’re negotiating your settlement and know you’ll be on the phone most of the day, then take a personal day or opt for working from home. In this way, your colleagues won’t overhear details about your divorce.
6- If you’re having a hard time focusing on multiple projects, let your manager know you’re going through a divorce. There may be a way to reassign some of your workload temporarily without risking the loss of your job.
Going through a divorce is challenging, especially when you need to maintain your professionalism at work. Find ways outside of work to release your stress. And set boundaries for when you respond to divorce-related communication. While the days may seem endless when you’re balancing work and divorce, there will be light at the end of the tunnel. The light will be your resilience and prosperity in your new post-divorce life.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Niv Persaud, CFP®, CDFA™, CRPC®, is the Founder of Transition Planning & Guidance, LLC. Life is more than money. It’s about living the lifestyle you want and can afford. For that reason, Niv consults with clients on money, life, and work. Her approach capitalizes on techniques she learned throughout her career, including as a management consultant, executive recruiter, and financial advisor. Her services include spending plan, financial plan, divorce financial review, life strategy, and professional progression. Niv actively gives back to her community through her volunteer efforts. She believes in living life to the fullest by cherishing friendships, enjoying the beauty of nature and laughing often — even at herself. Her favorite quote is by Erma Bombeck, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say ‘I used everything you gave me’.”