When working with couples, I’ve been commended for my knack for dealing with disagreements. It’s a normal occurrence when dealing with money. One spouse has a certain idea of how money should be spent. And the other spouse has a different vision.
Clients have suggested I add “marriage counselor” to my title. I’m not a licensed therapist. But I am a Certified Financial Planner™ practitioner and have learned to deal with many types of relationships – first marriages, late marriages, second marriages, common law marriages, etc.
Through the years, I’ve witnessed that no two relationships are the same. There is no “right” or “perfect” relationship. You just need to figure out what is “right” for your own relationship.
Unfortunately, many couples compare their relationship with what other couples are doing. But in reality, it’s what they are assuming other couples do. As we know, you really don’t know what goes on in a relationship because you’re on the outside.
What I have noticed is that successful couples hold these three qualities:
1- Mutual respect
They show mutual respect by giving each other time to voice their opinion. They both participate in discussions because they know they both matter in the decision-making process.
2- Common goals
When couples share common goals, they share the same future vision. While they may not agree on the order of their top three goals, they agree those goals are a priority.
3- Shared experiences
Many couples do things together but sometimes these things are just routine tasks. Shared experiences are things outside the normal routine. It’s creating memories they can reminisce about later in life. It’s activities that bring them closer.
These three qualities may appear simple to achieve but require lots of communication. With increased demands of life and expectations, the conversation about your relationship needs to occur regularly.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Niv Persaud, CFP®, CDFA™, RICP®, CRPC®, is the Founder of Transition Planning & Guidance, LLC. Life is more than money. It’s about living the lifestyle you want and can afford. For that reason, Niv consults with clients on money, life, and work. Her approach capitalizes on techniques she learned throughout her career, including as a management consultant, executive recruiter, and financial advisor. Her services include developing spending plans, comprehensive financial plans, divorce financial reviews, retirement plans. Niv actively gives back to her community through her volunteer efforts. She believes in living life to the fullest by cherishing friendships, enjoying the beauty of nature and laughing often — even at herself. Her favorite quote is by Erma Bombeck, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say ‘I used everything you gave me.’”