As we move into the holiday season, life may become more difficult if your spouse recently passed away.
You may become overwhelmed
with sadness as memories of past holidays haunt you;
with loneliness as you attend holiday gatherings by yourself;
with stress since you’re the only one decorating and doing other seasonal chores.
Give yourself permission to be selfish with your time.
It’s okay to decline invitations.
It’s okay to stray from traditions.
It’s okay to take a break from the holidays.
Consider doing things differently during the upcoming holidays.
Work extra hours or find a second job.
Participate in volunteer opportunities.
Take a vacation.
There may be family and friends who will criticize your decision to do things differently.
But remember,
they haven’t walked in your shoes;
they would criticize any decision;
they haven’t experienced the death of a spouse.
Be strong with your decision
Don’t look for approval – everyone will have an opinion, but only your opinion matters now;
Reassure yourself you are not running away – you’re just taking a break during the holidays;
Challenge yourself to embrace this drastic change in your life – you are resilient.
Acknowledging in advance that an event will create a flood of emotions gives you time to prepare for it.
Experiencing the death of a spouse, your life partner, is earth-shattering.
There is no “right” way to handle it, especially during the holidays.
Follow your instinct and put yourself first during this difficult time.
(Update to original post from November 29, 2018)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Niv Persaud, CFP®, is the Founder of Transition Planning & Guidance, LLC (TransitionPG®). She believes life is more than accumulating money – it’s about living the lifestyle you envision and can afford. Niv incorporates all aspects of life when discussing money. She developed the 5 P’s of Life (Personal Relationships, Personal Finance, Profession, Peace of Mind, and Physical Health) to help clients define what they want from life. Once she understands their vision, she helps them achieve their lifestyle or adjust their expectations based on their finances. Niv actively gives back to the community through her volunteer efforts. She believes in living life to the fullest by cherishing friendships, exploring the world, and laughing often—even at herself. Her favorite quote is by Erma Bombeck, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say ‘I used everything you gave me.’” Click HERE to read where she’s been quoted in the media.
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