Once the dust has settled after your divorce, you may find yourself battling negative feelings. All of a sudden, you may feel angry, sad, anxious, jealous, entitled, regretful or any other negative feeling.

You may experience these negative feelings independently or they may surface in some combination. You may feel anger and sadness at the same time.

It doesn’t make sense that now after the divorce settlement is signed this flood of negative feelings engulfs you. But it has.

Break free of these negative feelings and move forward with your life by using these suggestions.

1- Take 15 minutes in the morning to vent your negative feelings. Limit your time to express how you are feeling. Get it out of your system so you can start your day.

2- Identify one new aspect of your life to focus your energy on during the day or week. For example, if you want to go on vacation, spend time during the week to plan it.

3- Sign up for a class to fill some of the time you may have in the evenings or on the weekends. Look for classes at a nearby home improvement or craft store.

4- Take a break from social media. If you’re already experiencing negative feelings, social media may heighten those feelings. According to a recent poll by the American Psychiatric Association (APA), 38% of those surveyed viewed social media as harmful to their mental health.

5- Volunteer at a nearby shelter or nursing home. Focusing on the needs of others helps to put your life in perspective.

6- Before going to bed, write down all the positives in your life. Initially, it may be difficult to identify the positives but as you continue this practice it becomes easier. As you move through your day, you’ll start to recognize positive things to write down at bedtime.

It’s easy to assume life will be much better post-divorce. And it will be but it takes time to get to that place. Going through a divorce is very emotional.

Give yourself time to work through your emotions but resist becoming stuck. Keep moving forward with life by breaking free from your negative feelings.


Niv Persaud, CFP®, CDFA™, RICP®, CRPC®, is the Founder of Transition Planning & Guidance, LLC. Life is more than money. It’s about living the lifestyle you want and can afford. For that reason, Niv consults with clients on money, life, and work. Her approach capitalizes on techniques she learned throughout her career, including as a management consultant, executive recruiter, and financial advisor. Her services include developing spending plans, comprehensive financial plans, divorce financial reviews, retirement plans. Niv actively gives back to her community through her volunteer efforts. She believes in living life to the fullest by cherishing friendships, enjoying the beauty of nature and laughing often — even at herself. Her favorite quote is by Erma Bombeck, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say ‘I used everything you gave me.’”

More “Peace of Mind” Posts: