When you decide to divorce, it becomes more complicated when you have to let others know.
While you may prefer not to talk about your decision, realistically, you’ll need to say something.
So how do you announce your divorce?
You could post on social media – but be prepared for the barrage of comments and advice.
Also, if you’re still finalizing your divorce settlement, it’s in your best interest to steer clear of social media.
Responding to other posts, such as liking photos or wishing someone happy birthday, is okay.
But posts about your divorce, soon-to-be ex-spouse, or even bragging posts may be used against you.
For relationships you value, spend time privately sharing your decision. Be prepared for some to find your decision challenging to process.
You may have some family members or friends who are surprisingly not supportive.
For those individuals, you may consider setting boundaries or hitting the pause button with the relationship to get away from their negativity.
For superficial relationships, be brief and forward-looking with your announcement. You don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation.
For those who heard the announcement through the rumor mill, beware – their inquiry isn’t because they care. It’s more to fuel their gossip.
For work-related relationships, there’s really no need to make a formal announcement. Co-workers and clients may or may not notice when you stop wearing your wedding ring.
They will notice if you change your last name. But again, you don’t need to explain your personal life decision to anyone.
Deciding to move forward with divorce does not mean you wear a scarlet “D” on your chest.
You choose how you want to announce your decision. But there will always be those who hear it from others.
Be prepared for those inquiries. Learn to differentiate between meaningful relationships and superficial ones.
And most importantly, remember you don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation. At the same time, you don’t need to share every detail of your decision with everyone.
(Update to original post from August 28, 2017)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Niv Persaud, CFP®, CDFA®, RICP®, is a Managing Director at Transition Planning & Guidance, LLC. Life is more than money. It’s about living the lifestyle you want and can afford. For that reason, Niv consults with clients on money, life, and work. Her approach capitalizes on techniques she learned throughout her career, including as a management consultant, executive recruiter, and financial advisor. Her services include developing comprehensive financial plans, divorce financial reviews, and retirement plans. Niv actively gives back to her community through her volunteer efforts. She believes in living life to the fullest by cherishing friendships, enjoying the beauty of nature and laughing often — even at herself. Her favorite quote is by Erma Bombeck, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say ‘I used everything you gave me.’”