If you’re contemplating divorce, pause and reflect on what your life would be like post-divorce.
For many, we tend to believe “the grass is greener on the other side.”
Unfortunately, we often let others’ opinions cloud our judgment.
It’s also easy to feel your relationship is inadequate when you see others post “happy relationship” photos on social media.
Begin by recognizing that social media posts have been edited to show only the good.
It’s not like reality television. People don’t post their arguments.
One friend described social media as a marketing campaign for yourself – you show the good parts of your life.
How would your life change if you divorced?
If you think you’ll be able to do more things, then list out those items.
Would you travel more often?
Would you go back to school?
Would you get together with your friends more often?
Once you have your list, go through it and ask yourself what’s stopping you from doing these items now.
Is there a way to change your obligations to have more time to do the things you want to do?
Have you talked to your spouse about what you want?
Some people are surprised to learn that their spouse is willing to work with them to help them feel happier.
Another item to think about: if you were divorced, would you have sufficient money to do the things on your list?
The money you have now will need to support two households instead of one.
This financial reality tends to be a deal breaker for many.
When contemplating a divorce, start by focusing on why you want a divorce.
How do you see your post-divorce life?
If it’s doing more things, then talk with your spouse to see if there’s a way to make it happen.
Tune out the noise from others giving relationship advice and posting happy photos on social media.
Dig deep and think about what life would really be like after a divorce.
Search my website for other posts about divorce to help you assess what you really want to do. Type “divorce” in the search box at the top of your screen.
(Update to original post from December 9, 2022)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Niv Persaud, CFP®, CDFA®, RICP®, is a Managing Director at Transition Planning & Guidance, LLC. Life is more than money. It’s about living the lifestyle you want and can afford. For that reason, Niv consults with clients on money, life, and work. Her approach capitalizes on techniques she learned throughout her career, including as a management consultant, executive recruiter, and financial advisor. Her services include developing comprehensive financial plans, divorce financial reviews, and retirement plans. Niv actively gives back to her community through her volunteer efforts. She believes in living life to the fullest by cherishing friendships, enjoying the beauty of nature and laughing often — even at herself. Her favorite quote is by Erma Bombeck, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say ‘I used everything you gave me.’”