If you’re contemplating divorce, think about what your post-divorce life will look like.
While your spouse may drive you crazy, a divorce may not be the answer to your conflict. The grass is always greener on the other side.
There may be ways to get what you want from life without going through a divorce. The key is communicating with your spouse.
If you still believe a divorce is the right choice for you, then start thinking about what your post-divorce life will look like.
When discussing lifestyle, I use the 5 P’s of Life to help clients define their expectations.
The 5 P’s of Life are Personal Relationships, Personal Finance, Profession, Peace of Mind, and Physical Health.
For each category, ask yourself what you want in your post-divorce life.
Some items you can achieve immediately, while others may take longer to achieve.
For Personal Relationships, are there family grudges you want to mend? Are there friends you want to reconnect with in your new life?
In the Personal Finance category, do you need to manage your expenses better? Do you have sufficient funds in an emergency reserve since you will now only rely on your income?
When thinking about your Profession, do you want to pursue an advanced degree? Would you like a more fulfilling job?
For the Peace of Mind category, think about things that will help you reduce stress and improve your sense of self. Is it time to venture out on a solo trip? Do you want to give back to your community?
In the Physical Health category, would you like to live a healthier lifestyle? Is there a social sport you’d like to learn (e.g., golf, tennis, croquet, pickleball)?
Once you create this vision for your new post-divorce lifestyle, take action.
Initially, your lifestyle goals may not be clear. But the more you probe each aspect of the 5 P’s of Life, the more you’ll discover what you really want from life.
Enjoy this journey, no matter how frustrating it can be.
And remember, stay PEF (positive, enthusiastic, and focused)!
(Update to original post from April 30, 2020)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Niv Persaud, CFP®, CDFA®, RICP®, is a Managing Director at Transition Planning & Guidance, LLC. Life is more than money. It’s about living the lifestyle you want and can afford. For that reason, Niv consults with clients on money, life, and work. Her approach capitalizes on techniques she learned throughout her career, including as a management consultant, executive recruiter, and financial advisor. Her services include developing comprehensive financial plans, divorce financial reviews, and retirement plans. Niv actively gives back to her community through her volunteer efforts. She believes in living life to the fullest by cherishing friendships, enjoying the beauty of nature and laughing often — even at herself. Her favorite quote is by Erma Bombeck, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say ‘I used everything you gave me.’”