“My first marriage was a practice round”
“Third time is a charm”
Remarrying brings hope and joy.
It’s a time to celebrate and to start anew.
With all the joy of remarriage, why even bring up the topic of money?
Working with divorce clients, I’ve seen divorce settlements drag out over time.
The main reason is money.
Each party to the divorce has different financial expectations.
One may expect more money. The other may feel they have been more than fair.
In the end, money is just wasted on legal fees.
Since we don’t have a crystal ball to look into the future, why not discuss potential financial conflicts in advance?
If you’re considering remarriage later in life, you may have significant retirement savings or a pension.
Your home may be paid off or close to it.
If you own a business, you may have worked very hard to build it.
You may still want to support your adult kids financially.
At this point in life, you’ve accomplished a lot. Is it worth risking because you don’t want to talk about money?
If you want to have a better relationship than your previous one, then start with communication.
Learn to talk about difficult things, including money.
If your soon-to-be spouse doesn’t want to talk about money, then take the time to understand why.
Consider hiring a Certified Financial Planner® (“CFP®”) professional to help you navigate the financial discussion.
A CFP® professional will help you decide how to handle finances with your new spouse, specifically the pros and cons of commingling assets.
Once you’ve met with your CFP®, then meet with your estate planning attorney to review your documents.
If you have adult children from your previous marriage, they would appreciate knowing their inheritance will not be adversely impacted by your new marriage.
By being proactive, you may circumvent bad behavior from your adult children.
From those meetings, you’ll be better equipped to discuss a prenuptial agreement.
Marriage is a union, but what is “yours” and “mine” does not always equate to “ours.”
Enjoy the bliss of remarriage, but be smart.
Talk about money and expectations.
While it’s impossible to address every financial issue that may surface in your marriage, at least you’ve set the foundation.
(Update to original post from June 14, 2016)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Niv Persaud, CFP®, CDFA®, RICP®, is a Managing Director at Transition Planning & Guidance, LLC. Life is more than money. It’s about living the lifestyle you want and can afford. For that reason, Niv consults with clients on money, life, and work. Her approach capitalizes on techniques she learned throughout her career, including as a management consultant, executive recruiter, and financial advisor. Her services include developing comprehensive financial plans, divorce financial reviews, and retirement plans. Niv actively gives back to her community through her volunteer efforts. She believes in living life to the fullest by cherishing friendships, enjoying the beauty of nature and laughing often — even at herself. Her favorite quote is by Erma Bombeck, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say ‘I used everything you gave me.’”