Convincing your elderly loved one to move to an assisted living facility can be challenging.
With this change, they feel they’re giving up their independence AND admitting they need help.
Be patient with this discussion.
If they’ve lived in the same home for a long time, it can add to the difficulties of moving.
Most assisted living facilities will be smaller than their current home. Figuring out what to do with all their stuff can be overwhelming.
So, how do you convince your elderly loved one to move?
The best way to begin is by starting slowly. Use small steps, and eventually, you’ll convince them to move.
Here are suggestions to begin the process.
If your elderly loved one is starting to show signs of needing help, contact family members or friends nearby to visit them regularly.
It helps to gather input from others on the physical and cognitive condition of your elderly loved one, especially if you are not nearby.
You may need to install webcams to monitor your elderly loved one’s activity to determine if they need additional help.
Most elderly fear losing their independence and may be untruthful about their limitations. The key is to focus on their safety.
If you need to take away their car for safety reasons, give them other options to maintain their independence.
If they live near public transportation, encourage them to use it. Help them look up the schedules for places they visit.
If they don’t live near public transportation, replace their car with a car service such as Uber or Lyft. Show them how to use the app and how to be safe when using the service.
Check their city and local senior centers for transportation options for seniors.
By presenting transportation options for them to maintain their independence, taking away the car will be easier.
During visits, tackle downsizing one room or closet at a time.
Make three piles – one to keep, one to donate, and one to discard.
By tackling small areas over a period of time, you’ll make the task less daunting when they actually need to move.
Consider in-home non-medical care if it becomes too much to coordinate help from friends and family.
In-home care will average $20 per hour depending on where you live. Most agencies require a certain number of hours daily.
Depending on your elderly loved one’s temperament, you may have to go through several different in-home caregivers to find the “right” one. One of my clients went through five caregivers before finding one her mother could tolerate.
Take advantage of assisted living facilities that allow you to stay for a short period.
If your elderly loved one is recovering from surgery, this option may be acceptable to them.
It’ll give them a chance to see first-hand how the facility operates without a major commitment.
Many assisted living facilities have amenities and social functions that keep residents active.
Convincing your elderly loved one to move to an assisted living facility is not an easy conversation.
If possible, begin the conversation while they are still healthy and active. Most seniors need assisted living as they approach their 80s.
Also, begin exploring options early, so you’ll be prepared if you need to make a quick decision.
(Update to original post from October 17, 2016)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Niv Persaud, CFP®, CDFA®, RICP®, is a Managing Director at Transition Planning & Guidance, LLC. Life is more than money. It’s about living the lifestyle you want and can afford. For that reason, Niv consults with clients on money, life, and work. Her approach capitalizes on techniques she learned throughout her career, including as a management consultant, executive recruiter, and financial advisor. Her services include developing comprehensive financial plans, divorce financial reviews, and retirement plans. Niv actively gives back to her community through her volunteer efforts. She believes in living life to the fullest by cherishing friendships, enjoying the beauty of nature and laughing often — even at herself. Her favorite quote is by Erma Bombeck, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say ‘I used everything you gave me.’”