As I was wishing a colleague my usual happy wishes for this time of year – she responded, “Yeah, ‘tis the season for forced gaiety.”
I laughed. But her comment really caused me to pause and reflect on the upcoming holiday season.
During the holidays, we may be spending time with people we do not like. And there’s no way to avoid it because these unlikable people are relatives.
We’re supposed to smile and go along with it. We’re subjected to forced gaiety.
So, how are you supposed to survive forced gaiety?
Here are five suggestions to try during this holiday season.
1- Share your frustration
Make a pack with your best friend that you can text them at any time to vent.
When there’s someone you can share your frustration with, it stops the build-up.
You’re less likely to have an explosion of emotions.
2- Identify topics that are off-limits
This year, politics seems to be the hot button. But in your family, it may also be college football.
If you’re the host, let your guests know which topics are off-limits.
Emphasize you want a tension-free holiday gathering.
3- Switch the conversation
Switch the conversation to stop simmering tensions by asking open-ended questions.
Here are some examples:
How did you start your career?
If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
What are your top 5 favorite movies?
4- Start a conversation with someone else
If the relative you’re talking with is pushing your buttons, excuse yourself and move to another room.
Find another person who is easier to talk with and will not aggravate you.
5- Take a walk
When conversations get your blood rising, you can always say, “I’m starting my New Year’s resolution early,” and go outside for a brisk walk.
Who can argue with that statement?
While this time of year is supposed to be filled with happiness, some of us are filled with dread.
Having to spend time with people you don’t like is difficult but sometimes necessary, especially to keep peace in your marriage.
Since there’s no way to avoid forced gaiety, follow our suggestions.
If nothing else, it’ll be good material to laugh with your friends afterward.
(Update to original post from November 21, 2016)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Niv Persaud, CFP®, CDFA®, RICP®, is a Managing Director at Transition Planning & Guidance, LLC. Life is more than money. It’s about living the lifestyle you want and can afford. For that reason, Niv consults with clients on money, life, and work. Her approach capitalizes on techniques she learned throughout her career, including as a management consultant, executive recruiter, and financial advisor. Her services include developing comprehensive financial plans, divorce financial reviews, and retirement plans. Niv actively gives back to her community through her volunteer efforts. She believes in living life to the fullest by cherishing friendships, enjoying the beauty of nature and laughing often — even at herself. Her favorite quote is by Erma Bombeck, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say ‘I used everything you gave me.’”