It’s your anniversary.
You spent hours prepping for this night.
…booked a reservation at the most sought-after restaurant.
…found a babysitter.
…bought an amazing outfit.
And here you are at the restaurant, across the table from your partner.
You’re both silent.
Not because there’s nothing to say, but because you’re both looking at your phones.
You’re busy taking several photos to get the “right” photo of your cocktails to post on social media.
Your partner is silently watching you as they scroll their social media feed.
What happened to the meaningful anniversary celebration?
Here are five ways social media is quietly damaging your relationship:
1- Building resentment:
Does your partner feel ignored, jealous, or disconnected because of your social media habits?
2- Breaking connection:
Are notifications interrupting conversations with your partner?
3- Generating false comparison:
Have you created unrealistic expectations for your partner based on what you see on social media?
4- Producing emotional distance:
Would you rather scroll on social media instead of interacting with your partner?
5- Creating distrust:
Would you be comfortable if your partner read your DMs, or are you hiding an online relationship (even if it’s flirting)?
In my financial planning practice, I work with individuals at different stages of their relationships – whether they’re getting ready to tie the knot or becoming empty nesters.
Over the years, one thing that has changed with our personal relationships is the impact of social media.
Some relationships have strengthened with social media. And other relationships have ended with social media.
With smartphones, it’s easy to post whenever and wherever you want. It’s also easy to react to or comment on others’ posts.
But sometimes, this impulsive behavior can have adverse impacts.
If you’re in a relationship, spend time with your partner defining boundaries between your personal life and what you post online.
Set these boundaries before social media creates arguments and quietly damages your relationship.
When discussing boundaries, here are some things to consider:
Could your career or your partner’s career be adversely impacted by your posts?
Does posting when you’re traveling leave your home vulnerable to break-ins?
If you purchase a new home or vehicle, will your post draw the wrong attention?
Based on your posts, is it easy for others to tell when you and your spouse are fighting? Is it something you want to broadcast, especially if you’re contemplating or going through a divorce?
If you find out you’re pregnant, do you immediately post or wait until later in the pregnancy?
Do you use your children’s full name in posts, or do you use nicknames (unfortunately, social media is used by those who prey on children)?
Do you establish rules with your children on what and when to post (unfortunately, you could be liable if your child engages in social media bullying)?
Breakdown in marriages happens when there’s a lack of communication and trust. Social media has played a role in breakdowns – that’s why it’s important to have these discussions with your partner.
While I believe in authenticity, it’s more important to be aware of the impact your posts have on your relationships, especially with your partner.
If your relationship is valuable, take action now to establish boundaries so social media doesn’t quietly damage your relationship.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Niv Persaud, CFP®, CDFA®, RICP®, is a Managing Director at Transition Planning & Guidance, LLC. Life is more than money. It’s about living the lifestyle you want and can afford. For that reason, Niv consults with clients on money, life, and work. Her approach capitalizes on techniques she learned throughout her career, including as a management consultant, executive recruiter, and financial advisor. Her services include developing comprehensive financial plans, divorce financial reviews, and retirement plans. Niv actively gives back to her community through her volunteer efforts. She believes in living life to the fullest by cherishing friendships, enjoying the beauty of nature and laughing often — even at herself. Her favorite quote is by Erma Bombeck, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say ‘I used everything you gave me.’”