As I work with clients who are going through a divorce, I’m often privy to information about their marriage. While it’s not necessary as we determine their financial situation, it becomes part of the conversation as they describe how they envision their life post-divorce – a necessary step in order to calculate their spending plan. One consistent theme is about expectations set in their marriage. Here are some examples:
“Well, I will definitely go every year on a golf trip with my buddies. SHE never would let me go on that trip.”
“I want to go out to dinner with friends once a week. He didn’t understand my need to see my friends regularly.”
“I want to incorporate personal travel in my spending. She was always too busy with our grandkids to take time to spend with me.”
These comments validate how different expectations can be in a relationship. Before your relationship spirals downward, ask yourself if you are expecting too much from your loved one.
Do you take time to consider the other person’s perspective?
Do you try to come up with a compromise?
Are you respectful when discussing your expectation?
Each relationship is unique because each person brings a different perspective. Embrace those differences but do so respectfully.
Niv Persaud, CFP®, CDFA™, CRPC®, is the Founder of Transition Planning & Guidance, LLC. Life is more than money. It’s about living the lifestyle you want and can afford. For that reason, Niv consults with clients on money, life and work. Her approach capitalizes on techniques she learned throughout her career, including as a management consultant, executive recruiter and as a financial advisor. Her clients tend to be going through a major life transition (new graduate, marriage, growing family, divorce, widow/er, empty nest, etc.). Her services include spending plan, financial plan, divorce financial review, life strategy and professional progression. Niv actively gives back to her community through her volunteer efforts. She believes in living life to the fullest by cherishing friendships, enjoying the beauty of nature and laughing often — even at herself. Her favorite quote is by Erma Bombeck, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say ‘I used everything you gave me’.”